Stopping Alcohol When You Have a Mental Health Condition

I had been a drinker for many years and towards the end of my drinking (during Covid) it had gotten really bad, I had been drinking daily, often starting first thing in the morning.

I was severely depressed when I wasn’t drinking as well as feeling dead inside. I didn’t care about anything but that drink.

The depression was so severe and the paranoia high. I have schizoaffective disorder and drinking did nothing to help the condition, that’s for sure.

I would often be suicidal. When I wasn’t drinking which wasn’t often, I would lay around and cry. I was a real mess. My life wasn’t a life at all. It was simply an existence and not a good one.

Once I stopped alcohol my hope slowly began to return. I had no hope or joy when drinking. I was a zombie who didn’t care about herself or anyone else just her beer. It makes me so sad to think about how I once was but it is a good reminder, so I don’t go back to that terrible way of life.

Since stopping alcohol, the schizoaffective has definitely improved. Mainly because I am aware of my emotions, and I actually have more than sadness and self-loathing, I have joy, appreciation, and tons of love in my heart.

I wake up most mornings with joy and an attitude of gratitude. I’m a “productive member of society” now and do quite a bit to have fulfilling days that not only benefit myself but also my family and others.

I am no longer in that dark, deep, pit of despair.

I do still have issues with sadness and depression, but I have other feelings besides that as well plus my awareness keeps me from doing anything I’d regret.

I also still have paranoia, that unfortunately hasn’t gone away because I stopped drinking but again I cope with it better than when I drank. I check my thoughts out by asking my husband if they’re normal or not and he lets me know honestly if my thoughts and feelings make sense. It’s a literal reality check.

Even though I still have issues with the schizoaffective it’s definitely easier to deal with them and make better choices for my mental health without the alcohol.

I am grateful to God for helping me overcome such an ingrained and destructive road I was on. Thank you, God, for helping me overcome, let me never forget where I was and always be grateful for where I am. I love you.